Monique Sliedrecht: Spirit of hospitality is warmly felt in Caithness
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Northern Drift by Monique Sliedrecht
I’ve been thinking a lot about hospitality lately, especially as a book by a dear friend has just been published on the subject. My friend was particularly good at practising hospitality, extending to everyone she met in all sorts of ways.
I fondly remember walking with her on the beach at Freswick and sharing ideas about how to provide welcome and also some of the challenges hosting different people.
She died in a tragic accident a few years ago, but her legacy lives on through all the ways she touched others.
Her daughter Jo, who is co-author of the book and who also loved her experience at Freswick, writes in the jacket cover: "At a time when loneliness and isolation have reached unmatched levels, it has never been more important to embrace the practice of hospitality. For many, it is a lost art – and for some it seems like an insurmountable pressure. But what if the practice of hospitality was simpler and yet more profound than we imagined?
"To be hospitable doesn’t require culinary excellence or matching cutlery – it doesn’t even require a home of one’s own; true hospitality offers a welcome into imperfection and messiness, a place to belong and be embraced."
It is always worth considering our immediate environment and how we manage it. Is it a place people feel comfortable entering? Is it somewhere they can relax and be themselves?
We all know homes which are so perfect and ordered that it is hard to feel completely at ease. In my experience, the most hospitable homes are those which are a little more casual, while at the same time special care has been taken to make my stay comfortable.
I recently got back from a trip to Denmark for the wedding of a friend which took place in Jutland. Afterwards I went to Copenhagen for a few days, extending the time with friends. In that time I encountered some disorientation (you can read more about that in my blog), but through the hospitality and kindness of others, I felt held and able to pass through that experience.
The Danish word 'hygge' has become a well known term for warmth, hospitality and cosiness. I certainly experienced such good will, and I have come to realise that hospitality is not just given, but it’s also something to receive.
When I first arrived in the Highlands, I would say this is one of the key features that struck me about the people in Caithness – how hospitable and welcoming they were.
Gradually, over many years, we have developed our own very special tradition of Celtic hospitality at Freswick Castle. We often light candles and pay particular attention to the setting. People from many countries have commented on this, and the warmth they feel in the spaces, even if the wind is howling outside.
Many changes are happening in our world. So many are becoming displaced and even the term environmental refugee is becoming more common. Soon we may not have a choice but to welcome the ‘incomer’ among us. Perhaps they will no longer be referred to as an incomer, but just another part of the community.
Hospitality can occur with or without a home. It is a spirit to embody – a mode of being, a mindset. Stepping out of our front doors onto the street and into the town or Tesco, we can be determined to smile, to say hello, in spite of how we are feeling.
Chances are, if we are feeling low or ‘off’, the very act of a smile will also help us feel better. Hospitality is a two-way blessing, a gift to ourselves and to the world.
- Monique Sliedrecht is an artist, blogger and podcaster based at Freswick – www.moniquesliedrecht.com
