MONIQUE SLIEDRECHT: Seeing clearly as new year unveils precious life
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Northern Drift by Monique Sliedrecht
The days leading up to the last night of 2022 were full. When the clock struck 12, I realised that I was not going to last for many more hours, so I reluctantly decided to leave the warmth of good company and laughter and make my way home.
As I stepped out into the darkness of midnight, I was met with the most glorious night sky.
My path was lit by the waxing moon and the heavens above were filled with an array of sparkling lights. The glow of the night was reflected in the frosty ground and icy puddles. It was a still and magical moment.
I felt a sense of calm come over me as the noise of the party began to fade in the distance and float over the bay. Going out into the crisp night air seemed like a powerful symbol – stepping into the newness of the year ahead. It was a perfect beginning to 2023.
As I walked, I thought about some lines of a poem by Tennyson I read out loud by the fireside before the turning of the year:
Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light….
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow….
Ring out the false, ring in the true….
Some of the conversations I’ve had with people over the last days have been about taking the long view. This has caused some pause for thought. What does that mean? And how do I take the long view when there is so much grabbing my attention right now?
It is easy to get absorbed in our own circumstances and to focus only on what is directly in front of us.
Of course, it is important to listen to ourselves, to learn to say ‘no’ to some things, and in turn, say ‘yes’ to others. That can only be determined in light of the priorities we set for ourselves, be it family, spending time with our spouse or with friends, doing our art…. Whatever we say no to, we are saying yes to something else.
What are you saying yes to today? And what does that mean you have to say no to?
Other moments in our lives might have involved a great success or achievement. It can be tempting to stay there and dwell on that, but in order to move to new territory and grow, we must also forget our successes. That doesn’t mean forgetting the great projects we have completed. But it would help us to forget past successes if they have defined our identity or caused us to be complacent, smug and self-congratulatory.
Let's not look back, but move forward and run to what is ahead. We can ask ourselves: What is important for me to let go? What new thing might I engage in? What ways can I help someone? How can I enhance my career and life, and the lives of those around me?
How do I want my life to look at the end of it?
And in what ways can I celebrate life more?
My friend tells a story of his mother who, when in her late 90s, suffered from dementia, though she would have great moments of clarity. She was a woman who grew up in a strict Brethren background and was never permitted to dance when she was young. That ‘instruction’ stayed with her through her whole life. Just before she died, one of her carers asked her: "Dorothy, is there anything you regret in all your 90-plus years?" And she replied with great certainty and longing: "I wish I had danced."
Perhaps today we could drop everything, just for a moment, and dance. Or do the thing that we've always wanted to do, but never made time for.
Here we are, a week into 2023, and "tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" (Mary Oliver).
- Monique Sliedrecht is an artist, blogger and podcaster based at Freswick – www.moniquesliedrecht.com
