JAMIE STONE: Driving test was a taxing process in Tain
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Jamie's Journal by Jamie Stone
Time to fess up. "Are you sure you've got a driver's licence, Jamie?"
So one of my best friends at university, Jenny Wilson, used to ask me when I offered to be the designated driver of her ancient Ford
I would airily wave the question away. I knew perfectly well I had a licence... a provisional licence that is. And so it went on for my four years at St Andrews. After I graduated, I really thought it was time to sit the test. I did so back in Tain... and you know what? I failed.
The driving examiner was a very nice man and he told me that I only failed because I had driven too slowly and had slightly impeded other drivers. "Why don't you try for a cancellation? There will be more tests in Tain in a fortnight and, if you take heed to what I have said, you'll pass". He gave me a DVLA number in Aberdeen to call.
"Hello, DVLA Aberdeen."
"Good morning, I am calling to see if you have a driving test cancellation in Tain in a fortnight?"
"Yes, we do, what is your name?" The lady on the other end sounded nice and friendly. I told her my name. There was silence at the other end of the telephone.
"Jamie, you lying b*****d! I always suspected you hadn't got a proper licence!"
Oh my goodness, it was Jenny Wilson at the other end. It was her first job after graduating.
You know the old saying, "what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive". That was the classic example in my life of being caught out by a lie. It came back and bit me big time.
During the last few days, politicians the length and breadth of the United Kingdom have been transfixed by the spectacle of one Nadhim Zahawi, who was suspected of telling a whopper, and then last Sunday morning was proved to have indeed done so and, accordingly, was dismissed as chairman of the Conservative party.
It is unbelievable, isn't it? This guy was actually appointed as Chancellor of the Exchequer during Boris Johnson's last days as Prime Minister – while the truth is he had dodged paying £3 million worth of tax and had attracted a penalty fine of between £1 million and £2 million.
I mean, this guy was in charge of billing us all for the taxes that we owe, while all the time he himself was several lightyears away from being squeaky clean. I know I've just called this a "whopper", but me thinks that word isn't strong enough.
He's gone now, although he is still an MP. I would say that two thoughts arise from this. Firstly, how the devil did he get as far as 11 Downing Street, the resident of the Chancellor, without someone smelling a rat long before?
Secondly, this whole episode does nothing for public confidence in elected representatives, such as MPs. I know this because of what happened over the weekend when my wife and I joined friends for lunch in Brora's Royal Marine Hotel just a few hours after it was official that Zahawi has been summarily dismissed as chairman.
"You finding your day-to-day work taxing, Jamie?" There were a number of jokes made in Brora that day. When you hear that sort of witticism, you can be sure that the Zahawi debacle has firmly inserted itself into the public consciousness.
This leads to my third point about him... I very much doubt we shall see him in high office again.
Oh, by the way, Jenny did book me a second driving test. I am proud to say that I passed it.
- Jamie Stone is the Liberal Democrat MP for Caithness, Sutherland and Easter Ross.
