It seems that my destiny is written in the stars

I SEE my fate has been sealed. And now, thanks to last week’s Caithness Courier, I know my true destiny. It was all laid out for me. Every last detail. Everything that lies ahead in 2014.

I remain unsure, though: just how much credence should one place in astrology?

If one source is to believed it seems I have a lot in common with Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Scarlett Johansson. Blonde, beautiful and famous?

No.

We all happen to share the same star sign. Being a Sagittarian, apparently, is the key to a successful show business career. Oh yeah?!

It seems researchers who analysed the zodiac signs came to the conclusion that those born under Sagittarius are twice as likely to make it big than those born under any other sign.

They found clear evidence, allegedly, that nearly one in five child stars have been Sagittarians.

I’m so glad I was born between November 22 and December 21. It means I also have much in common with the ’70s heart throb Donny Osmond, the actress Jenny Agutter (of Railway Children fame) and The Jackson 5 member Jermaine Jackson.

So I will just have to keep plugging away at my guitar until I make it big. Just a matter of time.

Was there something prescient in the Christmas present I got from my daughters? A piece of mini home recording hardware, replete with mixing desk, that means I can multi-track recordings of my own songs — or truly annoy the hell out of my neighbours!

According to the Courier, an alleged reliable source, I am going to find myself constantly pulled in two directions throughout the coming year. And that I have to balance my own interests with my conscience.

Lordy! That could mean anything . . .

I’m told that I shouldn’t be selfish but will have to stand on my own two feet. It seems my future welfare, finances and prospects are all at stake.

Do you think, maybe, these astrologer types are just covering all the bases?

And there’s more!

I have to take care of my health. Now is the time for all those outstanding medical treatments, the dentist, chiropodist and the like because soon — if the stars transpire — I won’t be able to afford them, far less take time off . . . Yikes caramba.

On a more positive note, I’m told that given I like animals, a new "creature" will come into my life and will lead me a "merry dance" before "it" settles down. (I had a girlfriend like that once). It’s said that exploring the Moon signs is the key to our emotional wellbeing — even "if you’re one of the silver-tongued snake oil salesmen of Sagittarius". Gee, thanks.

But after just a couple of episodes of Stargazing on BBC last week in the company of Professor Brian Cox and Irish comedian Dara O’Briain I’m not sure I’m up for it.

True we are talking here about the more serious astronomy — and fascinating stuff it is too.

Reminds me of that late autumn night a few years back when I was touring about Orkney on my motorbike and stopped over with friends in Longhope at a place called Stromabank. I’ll never forget stepping out of the pub for some fresh air — no, I’m not a smoker — and found myself being completely blown away by the night sky. Pure celestial majesty and not a street light for miles to spoil the view.

It was literally breathtaking. In fact I lay down in the car park to take it all in. (Maybe not the safest thing to do outside a late night pub . . .). It was so magical. And shamed me into taking so much for granted.

That night the starry sky humbled me. And reminded me of the utter insignificance of my place in the overall scheme of things.

So I need to think seriously about the stereotypical Sagittarian trait that portrays me as a party animal, possessor of the gift of wisdom and intuition plus the altruist with the happy knack of inspiring others to fulfil their potential.

Yeah, that’s me. All round top bloke.

Stargazing? Maybe I could drop hints that I’d like a telescope for next Christmas. Or one of those fancy curvature lenses that can let you see the planets in a more three dimensional perspective.

That said I did especially like that very cool NASA space weather App. Smart, or what? I wonder how much it costs to download?

But then again, as I read in last week’s Courier, my fate is sealed. All is written for me in the stars. Bring on the dodgy creature!

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