Grieving mum relives horror crash in book
Register for free to read more of the latest local news. It's easy and will only take a moment.
FOR long enough bereaved mum Nicola Simpson accepted the fact she would never forgive the young man found guilty of killing her 15-year-old daughter by dangerous driving.
But forgiveness was found after confronting the driver – Castletown’s Scott Manson – and writing a book about her journey through the grieving process for her daughter, Abigail.
Abigail was killed on October 6, 2007, when Manson’s Ford Fiesta smashed into a pillar on the Thurso to Castletown road – just days after he passed his driving test.
"If you asked me back when Abigail died if I could forgive the driver of the car I would have said, ‘no, never, not until the day I die’," Nicola told the John O’Groat Journal.
"Last year I wanted answers so I faced him but still when I left I hadn’t forgiven him – despite the fact that he was obviously very sorry for what had happened.
"Months later when I was writing a chapter of my book it dawned on me that I’d forgiven him – I wanted him to be happy and get on with his life."
Nicola found forgiveness while penning the 267-page book entitled Abigail’s Rainbow.
"I wasn’t out looking for it, I wasn’t trying to forgive him and I wasn’t trying to deal with the emotions inside me," she explained.
"I’d accepted what he’d done was absolutely horrific and I was never going to forgive. But, through writing, I released so much stress and tension by getting all these feelings and emotions out into the open."
She added: "It’s been hell writing it."
The book covers Nicola’s journey from when Abigail died through to her life today – in Cyprus where she and her family moved to from Caithness in 2010 following what would have been Abigail’s 18th birthday.
"It doesn’t give you a step-by-step guide in how you are going to deal with the loss of someone in your life," she said.
"It’s just my process from the moment I got the knock on my door to tell me my daughter had died, through to the funeral and court case and then what helped me – spiritual healing, yoga and things like that."
At a friend’s suggestion, Nicola has spent the last two years jotting down feelings and reliving some of her darkest times including the High Court case where Manson described the lead-up to Abigail’s death and where he was given his subsequent prison sentence
"The court case is 10 pages long covering about five days that felt like five weeks to me," she explained. "It’s still the toughest chapter for me to read. But it’s quite a momentous feeling forgiving someone."
She added: "It feels like making history."
Nicola is now keen to get it out in the public to help others through the loss of a dearly loved one.
"It’s been quite a tough journey and it’s been hard to relive," said Nicola. "But my drive has always been to help one other person to know that these feelings are okay. There’s someone else out there that needs this."
She is now looking for a publisher to get her book on the shelves but Nicola admitted just writing it has helped the grieving process.
"I live every day for me, I don’t live it for Abigail," she said. "I miss her every day and every day I think about her. There will be difficult days ahead – there will always be painful memories as well as happy ones."
More information on Abigail’s Rainbow can be found at: www.abigailsrainbow.com
