CHRIS McIVOR: Choosing hope over hatred as people in Ukraine help each other cope
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Former Wick man Chris McIvor has just spent two months working in Ukraine for the HelpAge International charity. Here, he reflects on his time there
One thing I have often wondered in my professional life as an aid worker is what I would do if confronted by the same circumstances as the people I was helping. How would I cope if my house had been swept away in a flood or if the town where I lived was destroyed in an earthquake?
Here in Ukraine, of course, it is not floods, earthquakes or epidemics that have compelled people to leave their homes. But that same disruption has taken place because of war, and in the face of such suffering I feel challenged by that question as to what I would do if bombed out of my town or city and forced into exile in my own country.
Some six million people are now classified as "Internally Displaced" inside Ukraine, a number that many readers will recognise as similar to the population of Scotland.
Over the last two months of my assignment here I have had the privilege of meeting a few of them in the course of my work, all of whom have endured the kinds of circumstances mentioned above.
These encounters have left me with two principal emotions. Firstly, there is a sense of shock at the stories of hardship one hears. The organisation I work for, HelpAge International, has a principal focus on older people, and while all generations have suffered because of what has happened, it is their stories that seem particularly harrowing.
One of the things we treasure in older age, I believe, is the pleasure of being able to look back on the lives we have led with some feelings of accomplishment – the families we have created, the relations we have nurtured within our communities and that will provide support and company in our later years.
There is an expectation too of security and belonging. Yet that comfort has been taken away from tens of thousands of older people who now find themselves in locations where they are strangers, in many cases with orphaned grandchildren to look after, with a loss of their life savings and property, and with the prospect that they may never go back to the homes they have fled.
It is difficult when confronted with such experiences to find any glimmer of hope or optimism, but that is what I have also found in the middle of these stories of human suffering.
A principal source of inspiration has been the Ukrainians I have worked with. I have been mindful that when one of our beneficiaries shows us a picture of the bombed out remains of their house or a photograph of some relative who has gone missing in the fighting for several months, that our own local staff could also relate a similar story.
Yet despite their personal circumstances they have found the strength and commitment to extend their assistance to others. As one of my local colleagues told me: "It is easier to bear the hardship of what you have lost if you can help people who are in an even worse situation than your own."
The other thing I have noticed when talking to older people about what they have endured over the last 11 months, is that while they relate with obvious sadness what they have had to face, they are keen to present themselves as not just victims.
I recall an older woman, who is looking after two grandchildren and does not know if her son is alive or dead, talking with pride about teaching painting and embroidery.
An older man, who does not know if his house is still standing in Russian-occupied Mariupol, has set up a choir, while his wife organises fitness classes for other refugees in order to promote their better health and "to take our minds off things".
Another group of older women knit socks, scarves and gloves to assist their soldiers on the front line in an effort to feel that they are contributing to "our victory".
Yesterday I crossed the border to Poland from Ukraine for the last time as I complete my work here. As I did so, the missile alert system installed on my phone sounded off, to signal another attack.
It was a strong reminder that war is still happening, that innocent people will continue to suffer and that waves of further refugees will be created.
But it is the efforts at self-help, mutual support and not giving up that I will choose to remember when I think of the question, "What would you do if you were one of those people you spoke to?"
- Chris McIvor, who is from Wick, is the regional representative for HelpAge International for the Middle East and Eurasia, and has just completed a two-month assignment inside Ukraine.
